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[02 Nov 2006|10:54am] |
so i tested him and said that i couldnt go to his house today which is true, because i need to pack and get ready to leave for AZ, and he said y cant you come here? and i got upset and i said why is that so bad i always go over there but then he said he doesnt have money and his blood sugar could drop and i thought it was bs but its true and he said he has to shower and i said "i like how you havent showered but i was supposed to be there an hour ago" and he said "becuase i was in bed waiting for you so i could wake up next to you and i said "really" and he said "yes, really" so now i feel like shit for acting like a bitch, he is very real we are real and leavign wont be easy
i had the aierdest dream
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[30 Oct 2006|11:35pm] |
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crying on the phone.
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[19 Oct 2006|12:45am] |
work was so good tonight
and i like debating with people
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[05 Oct 2006|11:18am] |
WHAT am i suposed to do..be a good friend and ignore all the hurtful things he said to me last night and try and help him through this seirous and hard situation, or do i teach him a lesson and not help him and let him know that he caaused my bathroom floor breakdon last night..i realy dont know what to do...i want to help him but i feel like im just giving into yet ANOTHER person whose hurt me and I feel like i shoudl tell him i cant help him because he hurt me wayyyy to much for me to care about helping himbut then in that situation i just feel really selfish.
this is a really really hard situation. because maybe he was just saying those things last night in retaliation. but he still meant them. and they still stung me horribly.
im going to my aunts house to pack up my room and i have a feeling another breakdwon will be happening.
im hungry, and im a fatass.
ill never have any willpower and ill still be fat for my family reunion.
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[29 Aug 2006|04:38pm] |
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i just want to scream at you that i cried bcause of this last night. that i would do anything in the world to take that stupid day back. that i fucking hate myself for doing it. that i care about you so much as my friend and ive never been sad abourt anything this much in my life, i swear. that i know what happeend happened but i still want yout o be able to go oon your mission. thatt i dont want to stop talking to you now for a while because i miss it and i miss you and i want you back in my life and i dont know how long im going to have to wait until youre tready rto talk to me
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[12 Jun 2006|08:04pm] |
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music |
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damion rice- cannonball |
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it's amazing.
it's beautiful.
it's the relationship between my aunt and i.
i found a letter during class one day in one of my ripped up notebooks
and i had to go to the bathroom becasue i started crying
because i've come so far
from hating her guts, from crying myself to sleep everynight
to the text message i just sent her
that said
"i miss you."
i love her so much. I am so sorry for anything that ever happened between us. I get scared when we argue now. But they are just arguemnts. I have to remind myself that they aren't anything like they used to be.
I really do miss her. What she's going through with her sister [my aunt] and my grandpa is just insane and so emotionally hard. i'm blocking it out. but it must be so hard for her.
I can't believe she's not home till wednesday or thursday.
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[04 Jun 2006|07:42pm] |
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music |
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dallas keaton- underestimation |
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[04 Jun 2006|11:29am] |
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<b>rachel thank god you're a junior because i would collapse if you were leaving me</b> plus, we have to go to san diego state together. ♥
reality is sinking in .. next year..ekiria, siena, kat, and dallas will be gone away.
im really depressing lately i should just stop posting.
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[10 May 2006|12:14pm] |
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mood |
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calm |
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music |
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dem franchise boys- lean wit it , rock with it |
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so i made up with my baby sister yesterday and we hugged and went into the bathroom and talked and laughed and camera whored on the floor of the bathroom, yeah it's okay. you're jealous. =)
so imagine you leave school early because you don't feel well, your friends help you at school get water, give you like 10 free cigarettes becuase today is payday and you are out of ciggs, and food because you're sick with cramps, they tell you they love you before you are picked up to go home. Then you reach your home and you go inside, smoke a ciggarette discretly in your room while blasting music, talking to Tara and doing laundry and planning dinner for that night. Also keep in mind you are wearing cut off jean shorts and you call in work to confirm the time your shift starts. Imagine you convince yourself that work is worth it for the one day you will finally be able to afford an apartment on your own. Imagine that when oyu arrived at school earlier this morning you call your aunt just to say hi becuase you miss her and you talk for 20 minutes before class and conclude the conversa tion by receiving a text message from her after saying, "i love you."
now just take a second and realize that this is my life today.
i'm just so fucking content right now.
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[11 Mar 2006|08:40am] |
i live for seeing my best friend everyday and when we fight i end up like really depressed knowing we didn't go out that day. i woke up today thinking, "i have to get a lot of stuff done this monring so that i can see her this afternoon/tonight."
mmmmmm i have so many new bracelets and shit. and tommorow my aunt says shes taking me to the beach!!
fuck yes.
♥
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[02 Dec 2004|06:08pm] |
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do you like to write? well then come check out ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) _behindourmasks . If you feel comfortable you can post your work and get feedback. haha.. wait you can't check it out because it's friends only, but bascially you post your poem or peice of writing with your name in the subject line. then others comment about it.
anyway, im really excited so i hope you come join.
<3
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